I can't find a better substitute for the word sian. I try to keep my blog to proper english as far as i can but i just can't find a word to express my sian-ness. Sian means tired, bored and moodless. You see, that's why i cant find an english word to represent tired,bored and moodless all at one time. If you know of any,please tell me so i cant stop saying sian.

i was really sian today. I struggled to wake up at 8am this morning and had breakfast with grandma. I hate to wake up so early on a saturday morning. It's such a turn off. It's a weekend..can you just let me sleep a little more. I'm not referring to my grandma, i had to wake up early cause i had band. I arrived late again, despite putting so much effort in preventing myself to be late such as gobbling my wanton mee and teh-peng. I have a tendency to be late and it's not a habit. I have potential to be early one k. But i dont know why i am always late in the end.
I felt super sian cause i had no energy and mood to laugh. Every body was so quiet and hardly anyone spoke. I was anti social and did not want to talk because everytime i say something someone will comment. I hate that. Why cant just let me say what i want to say. I am not blaming anyone , because i know i'm can be quite annoying at times. Why am i like that. Sigh. Why cant i be more matured and firm? I like my crazy self but i cant be like that forever.
I just cant put what i want to say in words here. It's hard.
Everything becomes so fake nowadays.
I typed a paragraph about things that happened lately, but i deleted it. I dont want to be judged again. Some things are better left unsaid. I dont think it is fair to judge a person by his appearance or from what others say although i am guilty of that. It's really not fair to the person especially if you are the person. Imagine people gossiping about you behind your back, spreading untruth about you all around. How would you feel?
Perhaps i am thinking too much. I keep telling myself not to care what others think about me but nevetheless, i will be affected.

The weather's very very hot today and this doesn't make things any better.
Tomorrow there's a 4C class gathering which only about 15 people is coming. I really like my sec4 class and am just too happy to see them again. We're people of the same frequency.

7 Comments:

Unknown said...: haha relac. look at the brighter side of life :P

anyway somehow found ur blog :) take care..; 4/23/2005 10:35 PM
Anonymous said...: heeey if ure referring to wad happened last friday before PW, im telling u i dun believe wadeva was said abt u okay! u noe he meant it as a joke and we just laughed it off and obviously i wldnt believe it! no gossip! really! (:; 4/23/2005 10:37 PM
BenJ said...: no lah. i was not referring to last friday.; 4/23/2005 11:30 PM
Anonymous said...: hey! i tell u. i discovered that you are a great writer! never knew that before. but your style just rocks!
haha. sheng chang bu lou...(i hope i got the han yu pin yin right)...
sian = sick and tiring and mentally degenerading and aimless, worthless, meaningless and plain old boring... so do u stil want to use sian or my defination...=P; 4/23/2005 11:36 PM
MY LIFE said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.; 4/23/2005 11:37 PM
Anonymous said...: wait... i think the han yu pin yin wrong right?
i mean wrong, am i correct?
it's shen...; 4/23/2005 11:38 PM
BenJ said...: does it matter what han yu pin ying u are using? haha. i used to be very good at it. i think is shen for body anyways.; 4/24/2005 12:23 AM

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4/23/2005

sianz.

7 Comments: