I'm sick and tired of being skinny. I need to be Fat.

I used to be fat when i was young but as i grew older, the fats seemed to have vanished into some unknown tunnel in my body. I have always grown vertically and never horizontally, i wonder why.

So I decided on my new lifestyle regime to help me achieve my goal of being fat. I'm creating a new programme for myself, POWER.

POWER, refers to Putting On Weight Everyday Repeatedly.

That's right, i'm going to try my best to put on weight everyday. I'm going to restrict my everyday movements to reduce metabolism. I'm going to get my stock ready,
i mean foodstock. Only foods with 50% fat content are permitted to enter the house. Fat-free products, etc will all be out of my dietary list. YES, I AM GOING TO BE FAT.

My programme lasts 90 days. Until the day of my promotion exams i think i might need to squeeze through the entrance and use 2 chairs to support myself. But i can imagine how much thinner i am going to get again during that gruelling period. Ok, let's not think about it so far yet.

POWER programme will be incoporated with TOWNS (tan only when no-one sees), so that end product will be a TANNED FAT HANDSOME BEN. Who says being fat cant be handsome?

I will show you ok! Hm, i think it might be rather tough juggling the 2 programmes together. I must tan while ensuring the sun dont burn off my fats, how?!

Anyway, i shant think about it so far yet. I doubt anyone will want to join me in POWER. So i will fight the battle myself! I will fight against all the worms and snakes in my stomach that might be actually consuming all my food. Watch out!

Being Fat has lots of advantages. Being fat means that i can occupy i whole seat in the bus which also means that i dont have to share a seat with stinking strangers.

Being fat will make me more stable and i wont feel threatened when the wind blows. I need fats, i need POWER!!

POWER : 90 days Fattening Course

P.s the pictures have gone through severe
photoshopping and reflects little about the actual person.

________________________________

I finally got back all my papers and i did average (i
think). Obviously it could have been better, but then i cant really do
much about it. Maybe i should really start working harder. You want to
know what i got? You want? Really? ok, dont tell you.

Kks, i got BCCC. Told you it's just average. Actually my
grades show that i did study, but not enough. My closet need to be deeper.

Stupid kannan you owe me a treat ok. And you min, you owe
me a teh beng. See, getting lousy grades isnt a bad thing.

And i calculated my L1R4. There's no such thing in JC, i
calculated out of fun. i got 24 points! HAHA! 5 subjects 24 points can,
cannot even enter JC. Try calculating yours and see what you got, by the
way, i used the old O levels grading.

Happy birthday to tiffy.

posted by BenJ at Wednesday, July 20, 2005

3 Comments:

 F said...

ben = ass
ass = ben
HAHA
you = fat = impossible..
since dunno when u've been so thin laa!!!
hw can u EVER grow fat!!
i give u my fats laa
HAHAHA

7/20/2005 9:09 PM  

 tiffy(: said...

AHAHA thanks benjy :D
heh cant imagine you being fat xP
i give u my fats lah :D

7/20/2005 9:28 PM  

 Anonymous said...

i didn't know you're so skinny -_-;

7/21/2005 12:25 AM  

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