Today's the ultimate spoiler. I shouldnt have even gone to school. Everything just went wrong wrong wrong and it's super irritating. I have a tolerance limit.

Early in the morning was the long 2 hour lesson by a relief teacher who looks like she's crying until so qi cham everytime. And my plan to pon the lesson failed terribly all thanks to XX for exagerating the scenario. I felt so cheated and not to mention, loser. Although i din regret going back for the lesson, i still do feel a great sense of being cheated.

Then my stomach was growling so loudly during the next 2 lectures and nobody brought food. I had to battle to keep my eyelids open and control the volume of my stomach which is a tough feat. And i just hate that kind of feeling.

After lectures i still cant eat because mrW wanted a makeup lesson to finish up his crap. This time he din dress up in his plegm-coloured pisai-looking badminton shirt and was clad in his usual coffee shop uncle attire. I'm fine with that but i'm not ok with his lesson. I cant take it when his nasal drowsy voice keep ji ji za za at my ear, repeating the same old bo liao question. Frankly speaking, i dont see the point in his "conceptual" questions. Why cant he just go according to the syllabus and teach normally, go through tutorials instead. I'm praying his son dont grow up to resemble him in anyway. If he does, it's really a tragedy.

And i dont like people who talk behind my back. I dont know why, but of all weird habits in humans, i cant stand that the most. It's totally annoying. Fuck.

People who exploit others and pretend to be angelic should be sentence to be electrocuted immediately too.

My plan of being nice has somehow turned the wrong direction. I'm becoming quiet more than being nice. Maybe i should just stop it. Stop whatever friggin plans to change myself. I am me, tt's it. Dont like then too bad, get lost.

I hate pimples on my forehead. And whoever speaks about it again, i will dunk your head into cow dung and hope your face exlpode with pimples the next day.

My thursday and friday afternoons are burnt due to ensem prac. As much as i dont like tt to be, i cant say or do anything. If i object, people will say i'm a slacker and not co-operative. Then they will gather around in one small crowd and gossip about me as though i'm some juvenile delinquent. And i dont think our practices are effective or efficient. I might not be fit to say that but it's just my opinion anyway. And leehui suspect i'm lying to her when i say i have tuition on friday afternoon. Do i look like a liar? Even if i really do, i am definitely not the type who will resort to such underhand means to skip prac. Please, that's such an insult to my character.

Shit.

I'm really afraid one day i will have no friends. I am afraid one day i will be a lone, all myself. Am i really that detestable. No matter what i do, people will pick on me. Maybe i'm being too frank and practical and the world doesnt like that. The world loves superficial people who pretends to be nice to you one day and badmouths you with a gang the next day.

I hate blogging such an entry. I know some things are not meant to be said so publicly and i dont want my friends to suspect if it's them when i try to censor the identity.

Keep your opinions to yourself, they dont matter.

8/17/2005

woke up on the wrong side of the bed